I did a ten week interactive course in "People Skills" , there were about 13 of us that signed up and that's that's where I met Clarissa. Her sister, Cleo, just one year older than her had signed up for the program too. Our tutor was a 52 year old lady, who broke it down for us, the basic communication skills used in relating with people either as counsellors, interviewers and even in normal daily life.
You see Clarissa was shy, ridiculously shy if I must say, very polite, and em...also very ABSOLUTELY sexy. As in period, full stop. But underneath all this lay a very intelligent mind. Our tutor, stunned by it, was always asking her what career she wanted to pursue and how she was doing in school. She was gifted. She was just 19.
Anyways, I was checking the "Recent Updates" on my bb, yeah, she's on my bb (I'm starting to be addicted to that thing. The subliminals on twitter have nothing on the bb ones I swear) and she had changed to a very revealing brand new Display picture. Omo, I hit her up immediately jare. Lemme add that this lady, for reasons beyond me considers me a clown of epic proportions. She only had to tak a glance at me and burst into hysterical laughter, let alone when I opened my mouth to her. I was the only African in the class, and I think I brought a different vibe to the class they all found funny beyond my comprehension.
"Hey Clarissa, you're looking rather wicked today, I might have to move to you finally you know? What do you think?"
And being Clarissa, she didn't disappoint with a "LMAOOOOO!"
There was more play toasting and then it came round to us talking about her boyfriend.
"Hope he's hitting it good? Cos I'm about to take you from him if he isn't" I typed, which met with more "LMAOO"s (before people begin to slag me off as cocky, I'll let you know that this is how I communicate with this here Clarissa. I'm sure we all have friends who we have these type of convos with. I am not being cocky or brash in a bad way, I'm just joking. She finds it funny so I continue with it. There's a couple other ladies I do it to also and its all for laughs. I know people who've written me off for this actually. oh well. lol).
So back to our gist jare, leave bad bele people. lol. Ehen, so she said she had a man, No, he wasn't hitting it good because he wasn't hitting it at all. "I'm not ready yet" she added.
WHAT??????!!!!!!!
So there are actually guys that go into a relationship with a chic who has a "NO SEX" clause?? Really??? As in....What do they do then??? Yes let's get into the matter properly. Lemme tackle the attacks I know will definitely come "But a relationship is not always all about sex SugarKing". But before you say that, I need you to step back and analyse that your statement PROPERLY.
What do mean sef??? A relationship is all about SEX goddammnit!!! Sex, is were the BOND is at!!! This is why no matter how 2 people say their they're in a strictly sex-buddy relationship, something special is born when they first have sex and grows with the more sex they have. It brings souls together in ways the mind could never understand. There is a connection between your psyches. You WANT to be having sex with your partner!!! It strengthens the relationship!!!
Wait, so there's no physical contact is what you're telling me? No cuddles? No kissing????? because these all lead to sex, so if you're saying there's no sex, it means you guys are avoiding these things.......and what is that?
Chelu, what do you people do? Take romantic bus rides round the city? Go to the park? Oh, I won't even ask about the cinema, Even our dog know say that one follow.
Well, I haven't met, and don't know of any men, who'd actually be the ones coming with the "No Sex" clause, hence I shall now address the ladies. loool. So my questions are; Why do you want a boyfriend when you're not ready to have sex? ladies always like to go and say "Men are such dogs, they'll go after anything in a skirt" and I say to that, "BEFORE NKO????" If you have to blame anybody, blame our creator. Yes I said it! he put those hormones in us. A man catches a glance of bare female flesh, (Notice I said "glance". You glance with your eyes abi?) signals are transmitted through the eyes, through the brain, down the spine (sending tingles, this causes excitement you have no idea about) and land smack in the middle of our Testosterone pool, similar to what happens when a fat person jumps into a small pool. This causes the level to overflow (think conji) and some of the water finds its way into a shaft, fills it, get its up, and that's how we know what time it is - HUNTING SEASON. We couldn't stop this if our lives depended on it, so who are you people blaming really??? lol
And a man, from when he has his first sex, will NEED (emphasis on "need") that sex regularly. I don't want to put any fear into our ladies in distance-relationships, but I'll tell you this, there's only a time frame within which a man CAN go without sex. I'm not saying this to deliberately hurt you, but it is, what it is. I know this, and I know you know this too. Moving on.
Lemme tell you something. A man's attraction to a woman is like a dart board. Sex is right in the middle, and everything else surrounds it. I don't care if he's a priest, and maybe it might not be in the center particularly, but it is in the mix somewhere. I don't know what you people think, but blood flows in our veins you know??? Not iced water, not tea, not even beer, B-L-O-O-D.
And how can you sit there and tell me a relationship mustn't always be about sex? Because what you are equally saying is that, it doesn't matter if I go get it somewhere else abi? Oh, you won't have that now would you? How about I go outside and get it, come back to you like "mehhhnnnn, the girl last night was the BOOOOMMMMBBBBB!!!! Shiiiiiiiittttttt! We did the doggy, standing doggy, lying-down doggy (chai, I love this one sha!) Monkey style, cockroach, caterpillar" and you go "Awww, hunni I'm glad you had fun!" and kiss you on the lips? yeah, how about that??
But then you're a smart, beautiful, intelligent, wise (lol), got-it-going-on lady, why would you want that?? So why would you put your man through that? Because you're torturing the man is what you're doing. You know that right? What do what do you think you're doing starving the man? Because I know that nigga want's to have sex. Nothing you fit tell me. If he's okay with a no-sex relationship, take this from me, you need to check that brother. And if you really love him, does he really deserve that? Because men, all we need to cheat is a go-ahead from you that its ok. I tell you, no man ever cheats without an excuse. I will catch heat for this, but I'll stand by my words here. It is always something. I don't know him so I don't know what his excuse was, but trust me, there was an excuse. So why would you just hand it on a platter to us and think that we will stop for a fraction of a second to re-consider???
Some men, go into a relationship, because they don't really fancy that whole sleeping all over the place business. They find one lady, take her heart, give her theirs, and the sex becomes the icing on the cake. Get it? The initial plan was to have sex, but he thought, I want it to be meaningful sex. I want to dedicate heart and soul to this person because I know the sex will be way sweeter, my gallivanting friends don't know what they're missing. And you come and say "NO SEX???
In my opinion, if you are not having sex, you have no business having a man. It's not worth it. It's a headache and a pain in the ass rolled in one. I advice to wait till you're ready, Whenever that is. lol
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