First off, I'm all knees begging for forgiveness from everyone that commented on my last post. Comments that I am yet to reply. I'm not being pig headed or nothing, I just haven't been on blogsville a lot lately. Your boy's seriously looking for a job mehn. It's not even funny. So I've been doing applications and all to no avail. I'm still hopeful sha.
So for today's gist,
It was during the England/Germany match o, We had a barbecue back outside the pub where I work were we sold sausages, and burgers, and boy it was packed. Na so people full everywhere, it was difficult to get around, and to make matters worse, I was saddled with the hopeless task of picking glasses (cups). It wasn't funny at all. It was a good thing sha, because I did the most job applications every night I got home from those England matches. I just had to find a graduate job soon. I'm glad they lost sha. Na only when dem dey play I dey work like mumu. Make una help me ask Sugarking wetin Masters degree holder dey do as chef for pub na ehn? You people should pray for me o, abeg una!
Anyways, so I was making my rounds na, picking empty glasses when I stopped to chat to my colleagues, the guys manning the grill. I honestly can't remember what we were talking about, all I know is we had started talking about sex when I let out that I had never yet had sex without a condom. In short I would have been better off if I had said I had never had sex sef. "What??!!!" they shrieked, gaping at me. "Never ever??" they asked, "Never ever ever" I replied. "So what if you met a chic and you guys got all hot and heavy and there was no condom?" they asked again, "Then that's where it ends" I answered back.
Omo, na so this people begin yab me. No be small thing o. Gist that started outside now spread inside (to the other staff, when the match had ended and the place had cleared), and it became a debate about whether Sugarking was actually still a virgin. Some argued that since there had at least been some penetration, then condom or not, he's not a virgin. Some others argued that there hadn't yet been any proper skin-to-skin contact, and that no bodily fluids had actually mixed, that it was just rubber against skin, hence I was/am technically still a virgin. In short one other guy said It was advanced masturbation.
Then It was what some others started to say that baffled me most."Not every girl has Aids, Sugarking", "That means you've never felt a girl cum on your d**k before. Trust me you don't know how that feels". One guy said you can know how clean a girl actually is by questioning her deeply, Finding out her sexual nature, confirming if she's a freak or not and the type of acts she can get/has gotten up to then be able to tell if she's clean. "In this day and age???" I wondered to myself.
I have never had sex without a condom and have never been able to understand how people do it and go to bed and sleep properly. In the words of one of the girls that works with me, "Its just not comfortable". "For who???!!!" I wondered again! No be me dey wear am? and what is that rubbish about "IT" not being "sweet" with a condom? and quick withdrawal before he cums? Are all these people living in the same planet as me??? Am I the only one deathly scared of STDs and unwanted pregnancies on this earth??
I remember once back when I had just finished Uni and was about to go for my NYSC, and met Peace, one calabar girl like that. Well long story short, we had found ourselves in a hotel behind my house, (500 naira/hr) things took off and I had withdrawn when I started to cum (to show you as I dey fear reach, even with the condom on, I still won't cum inside a vagina, I prefer to bring everything out and then cum, just in case the rubber don tear for inside, and bros don offload gallon. hehe. Na triplet be dat na) came out and realised that my ni99a Thomas John had forgotten his rain coat inside Peace!!!! In short, the colour drained from me before you could say "Ndaa Leticia"
We managed to fish out the useless rain coat with the cum still inside, so apparently it had slipped off as I was exiting. Nevertheless, There was nothing you could tell me. I was more than convinced I was already a father of twins. Even the babe was starting to be pissed at me whenever we spoke on the phone and I never failed to ask "ehen, is your period here yet?" I don't even want to go into the STD fear with my knowledge of what she had earlier told me about her sexual history. Three months later I was in the hospital for a HIV test (yes I was that scared!) Na small thing remain, I for throw back dive inside doctor office when the test came out negative. Na im this people sitdon here dey tell me say I be virgin??? No wonder the UK is full of teenage pregnancies. Everywhere you turn is a kid pushing a kid in a buggy. And I know kids here are promiscuous from as little as 11, but it beats me how they never believe in condoms. I mean you can have all the sex you want, we all know it's sweet, but must you carry bele???
Like I said to them, till I'm married and well, Normal na, we go don go do blood test and all, YOU COULDN'T PAY ME ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM!
So make una tell me my brethren what do you think? Am I still a virgin?
P.s. Ehen, I know say people go talk say I too dey show myself, but here's a vid I did with this mai mai camera I just got jare. Em.... it was Directed, edited and Produced by yours truly. I really had fun doing it. Enjoy.
Have a great Week ahead me lovelies! I shall find time to visit y'all blogs soonest! promise!
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on Sunday, 4 July 2010
at 22:30
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