We couldn’t have been more than 5 years of age. It was one of those Christmases our parents had taken us to spend at the village. We were both playing outside (fully clothed, not wearing pant! I repeat!! Not wearing pant!!!), when this elderly man rode his motor-cycle into the compound. He must have been a childhood friend of my father for all i can remember. We were too immersed in our play to notice him. He parked his bike properly just by the side of the house and came over to us. He stood there for a minute or so marvelling at how identical we looked and then asked us about school and the city and how we were fairing in general. Realizing that he didn’t know our names, he turned to my twin and asked in igbo “What is your name?” and as is the custom with kids of that age, my brother answered “my name”, with no pre-ambles as “my name is...”. Now you see, my twin’s name, translated in English means “my name”. So when he was asked his name he answered “my name”. The man went on like “yes what is your name?”, to which my twin answered again, “my name”. Thinking that my brother was repeating what he said, he went “yes, young man, i want to know your name. What is your name?”, and my twin repeated for the third time again, “my name”, which was indeed his name.

A bit ruffled, thinking that my twin was mocking him, an elder that he is, he turned to me and said, again in igbo, “so what’s your own name?”, to which I replied “my own”. Now again, my real name (not sugarking) translated in English means “my own”. He must have thought what deaf kids we were because he repeated again “yes your own, what’s your own name”, and i said to him again, “my own”. Now really annoyed, he marched straight to the living room from where he called my parents out to where we were playing saying to them “look what disrespectful kid’s you’ve raised! I’ve spent the last twenty minutes asking them their names and all they did was repeat the question after me!” when he explained further what had happened, my mom waited for him to calm down and taking my twin and i by the hand, she said to him. This one, (placing a hand on my twin’s head) his name is “My name” and this one, (placing her other hand on my head), his name is “my own”. He knew then that he had been floored for he then put both hands on his head exclaiming “its a lie!”, which left my parents reeling with laughter.

I don’t know what it is about twins that gets people excited sha, perhaps its because i’m a twin that i don’t understand, but people have never ceased to stare at twins. My twin and i have now deviced a means of moving in public if we have to get to the same place at the same time i.e. one person gives the other person a 10 minute start. This is because everytime we move together, all we get is stares and finger pointings and questions. This would all be fun if we were some attention seeking people. But then we are a bunch of attention shy twins. My twin is so tired of the questions these days, that when people stop to us and ask “excuse me, are you guys twins?” he always has a ready answer for them, a big “NO!” and if you think about it, that “NO” is usually a closed answer if you know what I mean. It gives no room for further questions. I myself try to be a bit accommodating, if he hasn’t already given them his trademark reply that is, by answering that we are indeed twins, and i actually take the time to answer the ensuing questions as “who’s older?” or “where are you from?” or “omg! You are so identical!!!” e.t.c.

But in all, i think it’s the females that are mostly ensnared with twins and the whole ideology that two people can actually look alike and all. We had this chic that freaked out once from seating between us she just went hysterical like “omg!!! I’m seating in the middle of twins!!!!!!!!” it took a lot to calm her down that one. Another one was back in our undergrad days. I had been at the canteen to have dinner and was scoping this chick who wasn’t giving me the light of day, when my brother walked in. And i capitalised on it like “yo! That’s my twin!!” You should have seen her and the rapid to and fro head movement she made from me to my twin. She literally took over the conversation for the rest of the night using the opportunity to satisfy all her twin myth questions. The weirdest one was when we both got in a bus and sat next to this old lady who didn’t take less than a second to realize that we were twins. That old lady sang our praises from the start to the end of the journey. “una be twins??, chai!! Baba God you too much!!!, where una mama??, see as una fine!!!, chai ejima!!!” it pained her so bad when we alighted she said she wasn’t letting us go and pulled out a 20 naira note, thrusting it in my hand, to both my twin and I’s embarrassment. Yet another situation was a woman who ran a buka, off the campus at my uni where my twin and i went regularly to eat. Item 7 we called her for that was what she had named her buka. she cooked the best egusi soup and was hugely taken with my twin and I. But it was the way she stared in to my eyes whenever she asked me “Ejima, i go like born twins o” that I found most un-settling.

I’ve literally lost count of how many chics i’ve made “honorary twins” because they said to me “that must be so cool! I really wish i was a twin” and i said to them, “you know what, fuck it! From now on, i’m your twin, and you’re my twin ok? Tell all your friends from now on, i’m your twin” believe it or not, it always leaves them delighted.

But seriously, being a twin is kinda cool sha. I mean, someone else looking like me and all, having my back, sharing secrets and stuff. Yeah that’s definitely cool.

So down to answering a few myths i know some of you might have,

I do not feel pain, when my twin is hurt, he neither.

I do not fall sick whenever he does, likewise him.

We are not truants. We don’t scheme on chics (though we’re working on changing that cos we just realised there’s a whole “harvesting” to be done).

If it wasn’t for my mom calling every now and then asking “how’s your twin brother”, i sometimes forget i’m a twin.

We hate to be seen in the same clothes.

We hate the attention we bring to ourselves, except its chic attention.

Well, these are the lot i can think of, if you have any twin myth questions you have just ask and i’m definitely answering. And oh, anybody need to be an honorary twin just holla. lol